Move on..

I've moved to http://rosemilkinabottle.wordpress.com

I've updated the feeds URL, however, if you have any trouble, please leave a comment/email.

Familiarity can sometimes be intoxicating. The smell, the sound, the touch, the old stories, the shared laughter can rock you into a gentle sense of belonging that comes from deep rooted comfort. The kinds that you know you can take advantage of and rattle of whatever's on your mind without worrying about explaining people, places and circumstances involved cos you know that everything will be understood perfectly. The reassurance gained from the link to your past, and the glow of confidence is like none other. To know that the fondness hasn't diminished one bit and is growing irrespective of timeframe, is, in a twisted way, a silent nod to what you've turned out to be. That, as much as is routinely denied, is very important boost to a slumped ego and a bruised mood.

Heart wrenching

Life has very questionably weird ways of getting you to appreciate what you have. That realisation struck me when I least expected it. I didn't expect to be thankful for what i had in a hospital, cos mostly what i feel there is anger and anxiety. I walked into Stanley hospital, Madras today with the same sinking feeling in my stomach that i experience everytime i enter the place that houses my worst fears.
The corridors had a deserted, deathly feel about them. The walls were chipped and i couldn't really tell what color they might've been when there still was some light seeping in through the disfigured pattern in the wall. Room 405 housed the cardiology department. The board outside indicated that there were 19 patients in the general ward. I tightly clutched my mother's hand and refused to enter. I saw 3 people with IV lines strapped to their hands, sitting on the floor and eating out of the same packet of rice. Even that rice seemed to be drained of any color. Few other patients were lying down in a corner that had a haggard looking man in an extremely dirty white coat noting down someone's BP. A nurse was sitting next to him flipping through some files. A little boy was standing next to her shirtless and peering over her shoulder. He also had an IV strapped in addition to a heavy bandage on his bony chest. Another patient was lying down on one of the row cots that had a green sheet covering it. The sheet seemed uncared for and almost cursed. The green was just desperately clinging on to the sheet as if for mere presence. Just then, i saw a dog sleeping on the floor next to his wife and i knew it was not the sheet that was cursed. At that instance, I couldn't stop the tears flowing down my cheeks. When i realised i had to walk in through the same ward, the tears intensified. My legs refused to move. I was so shocked to see a man treated this badly that the only reaction i could manage was tears. For a minute, i imagined myself lying on that same bed, lying next to a dog on the floor and I knew how lucky i really was.
When i went out in to the yard cos i just couldn't look into the ward any more, i saw surgical masks, blood containers, stained cotton pads and used syringes strewn about everywhere. I couldn't stop crying! These are human lives and they deserve to be treated with more respect. What ailing people need more than anything is care. Roaming about in their lungis and having to go out to buy their own food didn't seem like care to me. More than anything, the infection spread by these improperly disposed medical waste made my skin crawl. I was this close to throwing up. I assure you none of it had to do with prude behaviour.
There were doctors and nurses standing about and chatting the same yard, oblivious. Or maybe, they were also just trying to survive. I couldn't imagine going back there everyday, let alone fend for my living there. We have our health minister talking about on screen smoking and stars consuming alcohol. Can we please take a moment to prioritize here? What about these people who're stuck here in such conditions for pure monetary reasons? These people deserve our time, money and respect too! I'm too shocked and tongue tied to even swear. Set aside fame, limelight, votes, power, post, and all that crap, please just look this as a human being. Would you ever want your children to set foot here? It might be cowardly to stand in front of a hospital and cry. But, I just slumped down in resignation!
Ps: the break still holds but i had to get this outta my system

Break

I started this blog cos one of my best friends in college had one. Had not the first clue what it was all about. I didn't quite know what to do with it when i had one myself. 3 years later, this space has given me a lot more than I could've ever imagined. Right now, I feel like its time for me to take a break. A month, maybe 2 or 3, i don't really know. But i'll definitely be back. So long!

Nirvana

In time, i've come to realise that planning doesn't work. Especially when you're planning a get away with friends. Saturday afternoon boredom and frustration lead to plans being made at lightning speed. By 5, K and I were on our way to a much sought after, if I may add, high profile resort on the outskirts of the city. Long drive, good music and great company! The day ended beautifully on the beach. I dreamt of waves splashing, sand castles, fishing nets and moonlight in my sleep.
The best was yet to come. After some catalog browsing, the next morning, we narrowed down on a catamaran ride. Other than its oft quoted etymology, i knew little else of what it involved. Have you seen that song with Trisha and super cute Siddarth in AE or the one with Kareena and Vivek? With the image in place in my head, i talked K into it. She can't swim and neither can I. Isn't that why people wear life jackets. We decided to do it.
The sand was just warming up but the water was still deliciously cold. But i couldn't even begin to imagine what it might be like to be in the middle of the ocean. A speck in the vast blue blanket that engulfed my line of sight. Swimming pools somehow never look like that however vast and however blue the floor is. The sun is always partial to the sea. She always shines in her glowing gaze. The beach is romantic at night but the sea looks her best in sunlight.
The catamaran took us about a kilometer and half into the sea. We stood holding a not so thick rope as the motor was switched on and we zoomed our way through. My hair was flying, my glasses threatened to jump into the sea and water was spraying in my eyes. We were moving farther away from the coast. The screaming in my head started. It wasn't the panic scream though. More like, i can't get enough of this woo hoo. The blue just got brighter and more seductive. The motor's roar died down and the guy asked us to jump in! Jump we did not but after a minutes hesitation, we slid off the catamaran. We were in the middle of the sea. Well, not really but far enough to disillusion us. We held on to the same dear rope to keep us bobbing along with the catamaran. And then the madness was unleashed. I've never spoken so many disjointed sentences. Just sheer bliss. All I could see was the same blue sheet that loving wooed we a few minutes ago. There was water in my nose, eyes, ears and mouth. But we were laughing nonstop! Singing cheesy songs in the sea, just managing to keep my head above the water is not something i imagined i would do. When the cynicism took over, i made a effort to turn back and make sure the catamaran was still there. Oh and also that the shore still existed. Somewhere in all this madness, laughter, excitement, fun, doubt, fear and bobbing, there was a moment of Nirvana. I felt at peace with myself after a long time.

Daily dose of humor

I just discovered that the Visu wrote the dialogs for this movie. I was quite surprised 'cos this doesn't fall into his "pattern" of rhyme or sarcasm. It has some of the best dialogs ever.

My favorite is
"modhalla pera maathanum"
"short name suppi saar"
"suppiyaavadhu gappiyaavadhu, Get out"

Ingleesh Laanguaze

Disclaimer: I do not claim to be a linguist and these are only my observations. Also, disclaimers seem to be in vogue after the Aamir's dog licking incident. And before you jump to any conclusions, he didn't lick the dog. Just go watch NDTV 24/7, for updates.
Spoken English classes caught on in a big way a few years ago. Now, they advertise aggresively in every tabloid/newspaper urging you to join one. Makes you a more confident person, it says. Starting with the Sun Music VJs no one speaks a sentence that doesn't start with "so" and end with "ok va."
The climax in this English speaking celebrity rut is probably the dance show that is aired on Kalaignar TV on Sundays. Its again one of those starlets' pass to fame shows judged by yesteryear beauties. The show's director, Kala Master, is one of the judges. As much as an authority she is on filmy dancing, she lapses into a stream of intolerably weird English when she gets too emotional or in her own words, "Too emotion." "I like the confident in your performance," she reassures her participants. When they experiment with something new or get an especially good act together, she likes their "creative." I can't even recount some of her other usage of very common words. My memory fails me!
She is just an example of why these spoken english courses will always thrive and have an ever growing clientele. I understand the pseudoness involved in having to speak the language perfectly, well, almost, to make yourself desirable to a prospective employer. But to have to do that on a Tamil Tv show, is simply taking it to new heights. Again, I know its not our "mother-tongue," so to speak but what about at least making sure you speak a language the way it should be, grammatically correct.
Can they not speak in a language that they're more comfortable with, rather than having to throw in words from a language they're barely familiar with? Especially when they know there're cameras pointing at them. Like Monica says, I'd have to go powder my a**, if I had to speak to more than 2 people in Hindi at the same time. In spite of my roommate giving me very reassuring glances.
I guess at the end of the day, the aim of a language is communication. So, what the hell, lets go revel in our pseudoness.
PS: Next post coming up on the way people have mutilated the Tamil language. Due to the abundance of nonsense available, we'll start with people who sing in Tamil and dub for our heroines.